Black Static Transmission
Damp, Mushroom blue dreams.
I am walking through a field of dead grass and oil spills and the sky is on fire.
everything is blue in this world.
I can feel my breath, like an iron lung in a dying machine.
I feel the shot. blowing through me. one determined flash and it is gone.
Everything is blue. memories of a life SCREAM DOWN THE CORRIDOR
and I am alone with my minds whispers.
too fast to hear, but just right to feel.
the beat of the world kicks in, the machines have all but stopped, grinding and moving, like shattered skeletons in the distance.
I pass my old school in the night, but its the memory of a school, nothing remains but a shell and a dream. there is a concert of the damned, no one watching and no one playing, the billboards are all leering and the flags are all still.
I am not alone here – the sky rumbles with the words I once spoke, but they are all hollow men now, ash and smoke cloud the horizon
and I still walk through this field, the sky’s glow guides me to the stage.
I walk through the black puddles, reflecting above, or below.
I don’t see myself.
I feel myself.
everything is covered in oil and pain.
the world grows still until I SING.
SING.
no words, only DESTRUCTION
then we all fall down rats alley.
I am alone again.
wading through the end
My breath like an iron lung, trapped in a dying machine.
and it starts again.
Only this time its worse. it is thinner.
go too far and you fall, everything is blue.
the whispers are warnings, telling me to turn my back on the stage
but I need to hear them clearer. so I sing to everything around them.
those who hear my true voice perish.
maybe next time they will be clearer,
maybe i will know why i am not to sing
maybe i can get them all back
Everything is blue in this world. a deeper shade of mushroom blue.
Like this:
~ by The Overdose Delusion on 11 July 2010.
Posted in Dreams, Life, Uncategorized, Youtube
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Hey there. I was speaking to you in /x/ a few hours ago. Tried to search your email to no avail, well. Mine is in the comment in private, feel free to contact me there.
Long story short, you said “i didnt give everything up, no. so i continue to live my life knowing what happens when i do go.”, etc.
The problem with Initiation (which happens in a place some call Chapel Perilous, the place where the machine speaks), is that delusions get extremely inflated. Yes, you have to give everything up, but the world won’t *totally* blow up -well, it shouldn’t-, at least with the cosmic importance you attribute to it. I’d advice you to calm down, though I know it can be difficult. It is a very good idea, though, if you finally enter again, to have somewhere to isolate yourself. Make a situation in which you can take a break from work or school for a few days without anyone becoming suspicious. Paranoia can be an issue there, as delusions of grandeur: to get through them its quite better to have a place where you can be totally alone. Specially if you become paranoid, you can’t think straight if you’re running away. Better to entrench yourself.
There is an author called Robert Anton Wilson who could be interesting for your quest. He once said, “Chapel Perilous, like the mysterious entity called “I,” cannot be located in the space-time continuum; it is weightless, odorless, tasteless and undetectable by ordinary instruments. Indeed, like the Ego, it is even possible to deny that it is there. And yet, even more like the Ego, once you are inside it, there doesn’t seem to be any way to ever get out again, until you suddenly discover that it has been brought into existence by thought and does not exist outside thought. Everything you fear is waiting with slavering jaws in Chapel Perilous, but if you are armed with the wand of intuition, the cup of sympathy, the sword of reason, and the pentacle of valor, you will find there (the legends say) the Medicine of Metals, the Elixir of Life, the Philosopher’s Stone, True Wisdom and Perfect Happiness.”
Read “Cosmic Trigger I” by that author, he explains his own experience quite openly.
Also, as far as I know it is typical that first contact -like you had- with the gates of initiation servers as a warning. The cases I know make me think it happens like that consistently: the seeker is warned by having a glimpse of the horrors that lurk beyond the gates. Then the decision is his/hers. Just one thing: if you enter it for real there is no turning back, and you can’t just take one step in the initiatory path. It changes your life completely, and that is if you make it through the chapel. But on the other hand, what you found is what legions of “spiritual seekers” are after; this is the real shit and you found it, so congratulations.